Bun
Picked it because it's fast. The only thing it's been fast at is breaking in production at 2am. But hey, `bun install` finishes before he can question his life choices.
Oeng Eavheang
Developer. Coffee enthusiast (in theory). Currently funding his caffeine addiction one $0.0001 at a time. This is the official record of his life, his hobbies, and his ongoing financial crisis.
$0.00
0
0
The tech stack roast
Every developer has a stack. His just happens to be a roast waiting to happen. We asked his terminal for comment. The terminal declined.
Next.js
Eleven rendering strategies, and he uses 'use client' on every single file. Server Components? Never met them. The App Router and his router brain are both perpetually confused.
OpenAI
Writes two lines of code, asks the API to write the other two hundred. His real co-founder is a $20 subscription he can barely afford. Token spend > coffee budget, which is admittedly a low bar.
warning: developer is broke. this is a config issue. cannot auto-fix.
The Broke Quest
A hero's journey, except the holy grail is a free $5 gift card and the dragon is a $25 minimum-payout threshold. He is too broke to buy coffee, so coffee must come to him. For free. Legally. Probably.
Survey #4,102
Filled out a 45-minute survey about dog food. He does not own a dog. Reward: a $0.50 coupon for a brand that no longer exists.
Referral chain
Referred himself using three email aliases and his mom's phone number. Got flagged. Mom found out. New problem unlocked.
The wheel of 'fortune'
Spun a daily prize wheel 90 days straight. Landed on 'Try Again' 89 times and '2 points' once. Points are not redeemable.
Cashback apps
Installed six. Five want a $25 minimum to cash out. He has $0.0004. The math is not mathing.
Total free gift cards earned to date: $0.00. The quest continues. The coffee does not.
Mine a Starbucks gift card
You can help. Sort of. Every click earns Eavheang exactly $0.0001 toward a $5 Starbucks gift card. That's 50,000 clicks. We believe in you more than your wrist does.
0
$0.0000
$5.00
50,000
Go on. Click it. What else are you doing.
Mom is watching your green squares
His mother does not understand what he does, but she has located the contribution graph and she checks it daily. A skipped commit is now a family event.
“Why are the boxes grey today. Are you sick. Did you eat. I'm calling your aunt.”
“So many green ones this week. Very nice. Now find a girlfriend with this same energy.”
He once made an empty commit at 11:58 PM just so the square would turn green and Mom would sleep. This is what passion looks like.
That's the whole life
A broke developer, a watchful mother, three frameworks that betray him daily, and a dream of one free coffee. Refresh to relive it. Your click count is saved. Unlike his savings.